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Thursday, September 2, 2010

Kimbo Slice to Boxing

Kimbo Slice Inks Boxing Promotional Deal With Gary Shaw

A friend of mine sent me this article yesterday. He really doesn't know a lot about boxing, but he's huge into MMA (trains bjj and Muay Thai, watches UFC, follows the sport, etc) and we've both followed Kimbo Slice since he was bare knuckles brawling in the 'hood. His follow up reply was that Kimbo Slice would crush "Klischko." I'll assume he means Vitali, the more active boxer at present.

You know what the Ukraine is? It's a sitting duck!
A road apple, Newman!
I would love to see Kimbo fight and end the careers of either or both of those incestuous freaks (see picture and judge for yourself). The heavyweight division is one of the most boring and least talented divisions in boxing, and these clowns are mopping up against truly inferior competition. Fuck them and fuck their supposed legacy.

That being said, there is no way that Kimbo Slice beats either of these Eurotrash. He is a brawler with hitting power. He lacks anything resembling training or refinded boxing skills. I don't really even give him a punchers chance against Vitali Klitschko; I doubt he could get in range to land anything with significant power. This fight would probably be a lot like Dana White's staged debacle between James Toney and Randy Couture..

The most likely path for Kimbo Slice is to fight in a few to several 3 round brawls against mediocre journeymen as a spectacle. He'll build up some hype, score a few knockouts, and probably go undefeated. This success will propel him into a 10 round match where he'll probably be out-pointed by some lame heavyweight that counter punches and clinches his way to victory.

It would be hilarious to see him step into the ring with a David Tua or Chris Arreola, and let them duke it out until they're too tired to throw anymore. Or maybe Gary Shaw can set up a chess boxing match between Kimbo and Nikolai Valuev.


Trashcanman said...

aww yea gurll

show me some love! said...

BOOM, Support package everywhere said...

You are truly an inspiration! I will keep your thoughts in mind for my next blog posting.

musclemadness said...

holla! said...

Awesome post... can't wait to read more from you!

Mr. Smith said...

gotta admit this article was pretty good.

FIAIN said...

Kimbo has no chance. With that being said though, I'd still watch it haha