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Monday, September 13, 2010

A Long Weekend

The alcohol was flowing freely this weekend and great times were had. Always good to see old friends. Drank entirely too many shots on Friday night with several friends, including this crazy girl I've known for about 15 years now. Lots of drama between she and her (former?) boyfriend. I say lots of drama, but it was pretty much entirely undramatic. No crying, screaming, fighting, or anything. Saturday night was far more low key - dinner at a country style Japanese restaurant, then a couple of beers at a kind of lame bar before turning in. I am not sure if it's the alcohol or terrible sleep on hotel mattresses that always do me in after trips like this. Probably a bit of both.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Supah Bizzy

Work is kicking my ass after the long weekend, and I'm leaving out of state on Thursday afternoon. What will I be doing while I'm out of town, you ask? You should really mind your own fucking business, but to answer you this time: getting loaded. Going to see some friends from my time in boarding school in England, hit up a few bars, eat some good food, and maybe even hook up with an old fling from back in the day. Beer and whiskey will be drunk!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Two For The Money

I am an avid sports bettor, craps shooter, and poker player, as I'll eventually make clear as I post on this blog. I was just thinking about this movie the other day and could not for the life of me remember its name. Somebody brought it up on another blog the other day, and it reminded me of an article I read about people being psychologically addicted to the thrills of losing. Not to diminish how terrible this movie is, not by any means, but there is a valid point to what Al Pacino's character is saying here.

The feeling of winning is like being on top of the world; an invincible feeling of happiness and well being. Losing is a bottom of the pit, sinking feeling like dealing with bad turbulence on an airplane. You know how some people love watching scary movies for the scare; the thrill of the monster under the bed? Or similarly, a heart-in-your-stomach ride at an amusement park? That feeling is akin for some  to the sensation of losing when the chips are raked up by the casino or their horse finishes just out of the money. It's a different kind of thrill but a thrill none the less.

Personally, I hate heart dropping rides and bad turbulence about as much as I hate losing. Horror movies are just dumb. :)

Thursday, September 2, 2010


College Football has begun!!

Kimbo Slice to Boxing

Kimbo Slice Inks Boxing Promotional Deal With Gary Shaw

A friend of mine sent me this article yesterday. He really doesn't know a lot about boxing, but he's huge into MMA (trains bjj and Muay Thai, watches UFC, follows the sport, etc) and we've both followed Kimbo Slice since he was bare knuckles brawling in the 'hood. His follow up reply was that Kimbo Slice would crush "Klischko." I'll assume he means Vitali, the more active boxer at present.

You know what the Ukraine is? It's a sitting duck!
A road apple, Newman!
I would love to see Kimbo fight and end the careers of either or both of those incestuous freaks (see picture and judge for yourself). The heavyweight division is one of the most boring and least talented divisions in boxing, and these clowns are mopping up against truly inferior competition. Fuck them and fuck their supposed legacy.

That being said, there is no way that Kimbo Slice beats either of these Eurotrash. He is a brawler with hitting power. He lacks anything resembling training or refinded boxing skills. I don't really even give him a punchers chance against Vitali Klitschko; I doubt he could get in range to land anything with significant power. This fight would probably be a lot like Dana White's staged debacle between James Toney and Randy Couture..

The most likely path for Kimbo Slice is to fight in a few to several 3 round brawls against mediocre journeymen as a spectacle. He'll build up some hype, score a few knockouts, and probably go undefeated. This success will propel him into a 10 round match where he'll probably be out-pointed by some lame heavyweight that counter punches and clinches his way to victory.

It would be hilarious to see him step into the ring with a David Tua or Chris Arreola, and let them duke it out until they're too tired to throw anymore. Or maybe Gary Shaw can set up a chess boxing match between Kimbo and Nikolai Valuev.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The WTF Blanket

These parodies are stupid, so of course it made me laugh and want to share it.

Jesus Christ Sponge!

CNN is behind the times

This was reported several days ago on a certainly lulzy website. Traditional, mainstream media is so inept and slow to react to online phenomena.
Video of woman throwing live puppies into river sparks online outcry

Edit: white knight reaction to this clip cracks me up. I see no reason to be cruel to animals, but I don't get worked up into a frothing frenzy when some Eastern European savage does shit like this.


A few hilarious comedy clips. I think the theme is I like miserable, mean comedians.

Louis CK: It is beyond me how anyone can watch Pootie Tang and not think "this is one of the best things I have ever seen!"

Patrice O'Neal: His shows are basically just a verbal porno.

Doug Stanhope: talking on marriage as a legal institution; a future blog topic.

Dave Attell: Hitlersaraus!

Daniel Tosh: I think that some people don't realize he was doing stand up before his show on Comedy Central.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Drop Out of Life With Bong in Hand

  • I am not watching this presidential address. What he has to say is meaningless.
  • League Of Legends is full of terrible players, many with terrible attitudes
  • Dopesmoker by Sleep is an amazing song, even for someone who doesn't smoke weed
  • I need to figure out what kind of prepaid Visa card my online bookie will take. I always paid with MC in the past, but now they no longer take those.
  • I need to find a huge emerald the next time I'm in North Carolina


A song that ranks along with the Internationale as a clear plea for workers' rights.

King Missile - Take Stuff From Work

Take stuff from work.
It's the best way to feel better about your job.
Never buy pens or pencils or paper.
Take 'em from work.
Rubber bands, paper clips, memo pads, folders-take 'em from work.
It's the best way to feel better about your low pay and appalling working conditions.
Take an ashtray - they got plenty.
Take coat hangers.
Take a, take a trash can.
Why buy a file cabinet?
Why buy a phone?
Why buy a personal computer or word processor?
Take 'em from work.
I took a whole desk from the last place I worked.
They never noticed and it looks great in my apartment.
Take an electric pencil sharpener.
Take a case of white-out; you might need it one day.
Take stuff from work
It's your duty as an oppressed worker to steal from your exploiters.
It's gonna be an outstanding day.
Take stuff from work, and goof off on the company time.
I wrote this at work; they're paying me to write about stuff I steal from them.
Life is good!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Bristol Palin has some huge titties

This dumb twat is only famous for being an irresponsible breeder with a mother who couldn't let her abort for political clout. However, her tits are enormous and that helps smooth over my dislike of her. This isn't even a good picture of them, and they still look quite big. Dress sluttier, you mouth breathing cunt!

This post is just a test

Checking layout.

Noise Canceling Headphones

I already own a pair of Sony MDR-NC60 noise reduction/noise canceling headphones. The sound is very good, the noise reduction is pretty good. They are terribly uncomfortable on my huge gourd, however. And when I'm wearing glasses (most of the time) they give me headaches as they pinch the earpieces into my skull. I'm definitely in the market for some new NR headphones; I travel frequently and find the NR feature very nice on planes.

I borrowed a pair of Brookstone NR headphones, and I can report that they aren't any better. They are far more comfortable, that much is certain. After prolonged wearing, they still cause discomfort around my ears as they pinch my glasses into my noggin. I think the NR feature is better on these as well; they seem to cancel noise a bit better. The biggest problem is the sound; these are so quiet! I have to turn them up significantly, but in doing so the bass is increased, forcing me to turn it down. They just aren't as clear as my Sony phones. I'm going to return these and keep looking.

I have a feeling that I'll wind up with some Bose phones. I know they are terribly expensive, but I also know that they're far more comfortable than either of these sets. And I know the sound is much better than these Brookstones.

First Post

I'm new to blogging, but neither new to the internet nor writing. This blog won't have much of a theme at first, probably just me musing about varying topics and how I feel about them. A few jokes, some product/restaurant reviews; anything that amuses me. To kick things off, here's the first paragraph from the indomitable Might Is Right.

In this arid wilderness of steel and stone I raise up my voice that you may hear.
To the East and to the West I beckon.
To the North and to the South I show a sign-
Proclaiming, "Death to the weakling, wealth to the strong."